4 Tips: Why Do We Divorce? Common Mistakes:

Let's find out what makes us think about divorce. Divorce in today's life is somehow normal for some people couples because they don't think carefully before getting married. Today in an age of economic instability, the rise in mental illness, social media pressure, and divorce. Divorce is no longer uncommon especially in families where couples are constantly faced with significant financial worries and incompatibility. It's almost inevitable. Even spouses who are very committed to moral principles might be forced to divorce for a variety of reasons.

Many of us might be wondering what causes a breakup. Here are some obvious factors that increase the number of divorces. Some people may have one or more of these factors in their lives, however, it's better to know the causes of divorce and live consciously.

We will talk about the four major issues in this article and that will help you think before thinking even about divorce.

1- Not knowing each other before marriage

The first major reason for divorce in some societies is the couple's lack of proper knowledge of each other before marriage. In other words, the family and the individual are not aware of the personality and behavioral characteristics of their future partner.

But what is the solution to this problem?  To get to know each other correctly, couples need to know themselves first, and when they come to self-knowledge, they should look for someone who matches their abilities and values.  To get to know each other, they need to consider a few criteria, including:

They are culturally, economically, and socially similar, because the view and dialogue of the living space is from this point of view, they are religiously in the same direction and respect each other's beliefs.

Consider the age difference. It is common sense for a boy to be older than a girl.  Some ask what happens if a girl is older than a boy?  In response, it should be noted that it is not a problem if the other party has all the other criteria of the other party and both girls and boys have accepted the age difference.

Attention to appearance: Both parties should enjoy the appearance and beauty of their partner.  However, many young people consider this as the first and most important point and then go to other criteria and criteria that this type of choice is wrong.

Equal amount of energy: Girls and boys should have the same energy, because it helps them to be equal and friends with each other.

Attention to personal habits: We need to consider whether we as a spouse can cope with the habits of our future partner, such as the type and manner of speaking, dressing, walking, and so on.

How much money to spend: You need to know that the type, amount and manner of spending money in your life together is very important, and if there is a problem in this area, it can even lead to divorce.

Young couples should know that there is no change after marriage, but insisting on change leads to resistance from the other party, stubbornness, quarrels, and anger, and ultimately leads to divorce, so if you do not want to face divorce and its consequences, these criteria take it seriously.

It has been seen many times that young girls and boys, in order to choose a spouse, are looking for a different person, in fact, they are the opposite of each other in terms of personality.  For example, a social girl with strong public relations may be looking for a man who has limited social relationships.

When the couple is together, they will certainly not understand each other, and not understanding this in the future will be problematic. To choose a partner, people need to consider the similarity of personality and choose a partner who is similar in every way.

2- Inability to communicate effectively and incompatibly (misunderstanding)

The second reason for divorce is the lack of understanding.  In order to continue a satisfying relationship, couples need to be aware of life skills such as talking, listening, and problem-solving, and to know that by forming a life, "I" and "ego" are destroyed, and "I" becomes "us."It happens. In common life, the benefit of "us" is at stake. Couples should also be able to adapt to any situation. In cohabitation, talking is an important factor in a successful marriage.

Couples who are more talkative also have the ability to solve problems. Unfortunately, less than 3 out of 10 couples have the ability to talk in the right way. It should be noted that the problem will be complicated when it is not possible to solve the problem through dialogue.

3- Not irrigating the relationship (repetition)

The third reason for differences and divorces between couples is the repetition of the couple for each other. It should be noted that marital relations are like a plant and should be taken care of to grow and prevent spoilage and withering. We want to recreate the new feelings and views that existed in the first days of dating. 

Being new to each other causes both parties to be emotionally close to each other and to convey a sense of importance to each other. When couples enter the divorce space, they are actually sending a message to each other, "You don't matter to me." However, both parties can do things that will not be repetitive and boring for the other party and the other party will know their importance in his life.

4- Interventions from outside

The fourth main cause of divorce can be considered as interfering groups from outside, interventions can include the following:

Family Involvement: Unfortunately, many couples allow their families to interfere in their lives from the very first days of marriage. The reason for this intervention goes back to the person's dependence on his first family.  Girls and boys need to reduce their dependence on a family when they are trying to form a life together, and each of them should manage their family to sustain their life.

Job and Employment Involvement: Giving too much importance to work and employment causes couples to not be able to spend enough time together, which of course reduces love in the family. It should be noted that the job is not the whole of life, but a tool for life.

Interference with personal goals: Sometimes a couple magnifies and values their goals, for example, one of the spouses may like to emigrate abroad or have a home in a certain area, while the other party may do so. He has no thoughts. When these issues are too much to deal with, the core of life is practically out of the hands of the couple, and the relationship progresses to rupture. The best solution for this couple is to present their desires and goals at home and make a participatory decision. Today, space is a participatory space.

Involvement of children: Couples sometimes overestimate their children, so that decisions are made by the children to the point that even the couple cannot be alone with their spouses for a moment due to their children's high expectations.